Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Nicknames that Will Probably Never Make it on Sports Center

In honor of the now age-old process by which Chris Berman (at least in his younger, less jaded days) created nicknames for ballplayers of all sorts, we've compiled a list of nicknames that despite their worthiness, will never reach the mainstream air. So to remedy this situation, we bestow upon you some of the less sensitive, less PC and less tasteful nicknames out there:

  • Brad 'Cerebral' Halsey
  • Keith 'Queer as' Foulke
  • Bowie 'Dead' Kuhn
  • Ted 'Batan Death' March-ibroda
  • Robert 'FEMA' Traylor
  • Jeremy 'If She Were Younger I'd Have' Bonderman
  • Bartolo 'Cancer of the' Colon
  • Jon 'Love Her and' Lieber
  • Grady 'Women Really Do Care About' Sizemore
  • CJ 'Who the Fuck' Ah You
  • Larry 'Club' Foote
  • Randall 'Is' Gay
  • Ronnie 'The War of 1812 was Officially ended with the Treaty of' Ghent
  • Jerry 'Pubic' Hariston
  • Torii 'MILF' Hunter
  • Ed 'Can't' Reed
  • David 'Uncle' Toms
  • Dwyane 'Roe v.' Wade
  • Junior 'My Uncle Made Me' Seau
  • Amanti 'Malignant' Toomer

No comments: