Return of the Rizz

Despite my best efforts to render the situation otherwise, I, the humble Rizz, am wholeheartedly alive. Since we last corresponded, I've done some questionable things:

• Got my first tattoo(s)
• Tried to bluff this guy out of a $350 pot
• Slept for 20 of the 24 hours between midnight Tuesday and midnight Wednesday

Clearly, the utterly summer-inspired giddiness that can only be understood by teachers has taken hold; and I, my friends, am simply holding on for the ride.

All this being said, I continue to be a rabid sports fan. I do not currently have a TV in my house--but I live in New Orleans, a glorious place in which I can walk two blocks to a bar--at 11AM!!!--to simultaneously watch 2 Euro 2008 games and the US Open.

Because I have so many thoughts swarming, here's a synopsis of my recent opinions:

1. While points 5-2 proved shaky, I'm pretty happy with my assertion that everyone would be ready to hand the Lakers the NBA title were they to be matched up with the Celtics. Boston proved its gravitas, winning the first two games at home and putting LA in a fairly big hole.
   

Despite being happy that the Celtics won, I was left with mixed feelings after the Finals:

• Kevin Garnett, after putting up an MVP-caliber regular season, disappeared in Game 5. How can a superstar miss two clutch free throws and expect not to be crucified? Were it not for superhero Paul Pierce (and, in certain instances, Jesus Shuttlesworth), the Celts were toast.
• As much as I hated the Kobe-Shaq Lakers... I can now see how they might have been endearing to some people. This Laker team, on the other hand, simply came off as soulless and selfish. Phil Jackson is hard to like, with his brooding intellectual elitism; Lamar Odom underachieves so much that you can't really root for him; and Kobe, despite his eye-popping abilities, spends more time bitching and moaning than he does smiling and embracing fans.
• One would think that an LA-Boston match-up would represent the perfect end to such an NBA season. Why, then, did the Finals leave me feeling so... unfulfilled?

2. Watch this. Watch this. Look at her. Now... look at me--with a straight face--and tell me that Tiger Woods is not the single greatest athlete in the history of sports. Period.

3. Kudos to ESPN and its family of networks for airing each contest of the European Championships. Nothing in the world of sport--nothing--brings about the kind of passion that accompanies world-class soccer on an international stage. For those who consider soccer a dull sport... watch the final 15 minutes of the Turkey-Czech Republic game. Who comes from 2 goals down to win a game in the final moments? I mean... the Italians have built their name on going up 1-0 and sitting behind the ball, playing mindnumbingly boring defense. Of all the major sports, soccer's leads are easiest to hold... which makes the Turkish comeback all the more amazing. Who cares if they're pseudo-European and pseudo-Asian? Viva la Turks!

4. Take away the miracle catch that led to the most BS Super Bowl title ever, and Boston would hold title trophies for all 3 major sports.

5. Chipper Jones, one of my favorite baseball players ever, will not hit .400 this year.

6. College football is going to be sick this year. UGA looks loaded, but they have to play at Arizona State (out of conference), at LSU, and against Florida in the WLOCP. The Gators, with Mr. Stud coming back at QB, have to play Hawaii, Miami, and at Florida State, not to mention UGA and LSU. The Tigers have a QB dilemma, as Ryan Perilloux screwed up a dream situation. Per usual, the SEC should have 3 or 4 teams in the national top 10. And again, it looks like a 1-loss season in that conference should be enough for a BCS berth.


Last of all...

Haner Jesus: Poker, Baseball, Basketball, Bowling, or Church?